Americans are increasingly lonely and isolated, and this lack of social connection is taking a serious toll on our mental and physical health, the Surgeon General warned Tuesday in an advisory.
Recommendations by America’s top doctors are usually limited to public health problems that require immediate attention. This is the first time it has been used to highlight the issue of loneliness.
A 2021 poll found that more than half of Americans feel lonely, and young adults are almost twice as likely to report feeling lonely than those over the age of 65. I was.
Chief Surgeon Dr. Vivek H. Murthy has often spoken about declining social ties and has written a book on the subject, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Times Lonely World, published in 2020. In his new recommendations, he calls on nations to strengthen their social structures and prioritize meaningful relationships.
Whether or not we consider ourselves lonely, many of us could benefit from making an effort to rebuild and nurture our connections with other people. We asked Dr. Murthy to extend the advice and share some of his best advice.
Reconnect with people.
To get started, spend 15 minutes each day reaching out to friends and relatives. Put reminders in your calendar as needed to stay prioritized. Your relationships cannot thrive unless they grow.
“Short human interactions make us feel good for a long time because we are connected,” says Dr. Murthy.
Show the person you’re talking to how much you care by being genuine, even if it’s just a short conversation, Dr. Murthy advised. Being authentic is when you are connected to.
“We don’t have to be pretentious,” he said. “We don’t have to be someone else. We can really be who we are.”
It can be intimidating at first, but remember that people are wired to connect, Dr. Murthy added. Sharing honestly and encouraging others to do the same “can be incredibly powerful,” he said.
Minimize distractions.
How often have you noticed someone looking at their phone while talking to you? What about during meals? Do other people do this when talking to you? To spend quality, quality time, put your devices down and pay your full attention.
“Focus on the conversation,” he said. “Hearing is as important as what we say.”
In the meantime, scale back your social media. Virtual connections do not replace in-person time with the people who matter in your life. reported to be low.
“For thousands of years, we have evolved not only to understand what someone is saying, but to respond to their tone of voice, read their body language, and experience their presence. “And we lose a lot of that when we’re communicating electronically.”
When people call, pick up the phone.
Imagine your phone is ringing. It turns out to be a call from a close friend from college whom I haven’t heard from in a long time. But instead of picking up the phone, I decided not to answer. Tell yourself that you will call back later when you have time to chat.
Next time, pick up the phone and talk, Dr. Mercy said. If you’re in the middle of something, say, “Hey, it’s so nice to hear your voice,” then find another time to talk.
“Those 10 seconds feel so much better than texting back and forth,” he said.
serve others.
Research shows that volunteering can reduce loneliness and expand social networks. Consider donating time to community organizations or offering to help a family member, colleague or friend.
“When we help others, we build experiences and connections with them, but we are also reminded of the value we bring to the world,” said Dr. Mercy. This is essential because fighting undermines their self-esteem and self-esteem, and over time it can trick them into believing they are lonely because they are unlikable or unloved. When you serve others, you know that’s not the case.”
get help.
Finally, tell someone if you suffer from loneliness. It could be a relative, friend, counselor, or healthcare provider.
If you are feeling persistently sad and hopeless and it is interfering with your ability to function in your daily life or participate in activities that used to bring you joy, that is a red flag. I need to speak. If you are thinking of harming yourself, call the 988 crisis line.